Sunday, December 22, 2019

Random Thoughts on the Path Through Advent...



...Where a seemingly random set of observations may not be so random, after all.


The moment I saw it, I gasped because I know what it was and somehow understood it.

—How often has that happened to you?—

What did I see? It was an open mouth, carved into a wall, next to the front entrance of a very old building in Europe. More specifically, it was a mail slot, intended for the delivery of messages and small parcels. These can be seen in many “old world” (western) cities throughout the world, even into the Americas; the image below was photographed in Havana, Cuba. That it is a mail slot is clear, but that is not exactly what it means—that is, the symbolism of the open mouth. Generally fashioned as a grotesque or scary image, this symbolizes one of the most ancient of proscriptions: Do Not Steal. The symbolism is backed up by cultural aphorisms that run along the lines of “The righteous hand will come away whole, but a thief may be left with a stump!” Similarly, the so-called Bocca della Verità,in Rome, Italy, is a thought to represent a proscription against lying.


 While my children were growing up, literature had a very important role in our home, cluttered as it is with books and papers and music. Among their first “literary” experiences in school, they explored Greek mythology—aided by the contemporary and popular “Percy Jackson” series. This made me nostalgic: A favorite great Uncle gave me a book of Greek myth stories for Christmas, one year. I read it over and over again. The relative in question had been a classics scholar at Stanford University, and was a bookseller. This similarity in experience—mine and my children’s, decades later—gave me the feeling that most western education, for better or worse, starts with the same materials, the same essential primary reading. This may or may not be accurate, but I felt good that my children were following the same literature ladder that I had been exposed to.

The pitfall of such an education is that it makes assumptions about current generations based on the expectations made on former generations—not to mention that it can serve to limit free thought. Think about it for a moment: Academic writing is not always about presenting new and independent thought, rather it is about building on the thought (and even insisting on the same pathways) of all past generations. Every thesis and dissertation must be supported from the literature that came before it, even if previous literature is erroneous, sometimes owing to a lack of breadth, or carries implicit biases. Or worse, excellent writing of past generations is used to support and lend authority to terrible ideas. Original thinkers can break out of the mold, but not without a fight that includes vigorous viva voce challenges.

I’ve often said to my children, as they worked with reading and writing, exploring universal themes that crop up, “All words are built on all words.” That is to say, our universal life experience themes crop up in every literature and are translated into or expressed through different languages from every region worldwide in every generation. 

We started by naming, and from naming, we moved on to practical cooperative communication, thence onward to storytelling. Naming might be a solitary event, but practical communication and storytelling is a communal experience, where context and meaning are conveyed in a group setting. Original meanings can become clouded or distorted as communities become larger or disconnected, owing to migrations, greater distance between localities, greater urban density, and other social and demographic change, evolving or merging language (e.g., Spanglish), or simply the inexorable march of time. The so-called “generation gap” is a descriptive phrase that clearly defines what I mean. When I ask my kids to call me, I always say, “Dial me up.” I actually enjoy the eye rolls this anachronistic expression elicits. Childhood for my kids fell on the cusp of the tilting point away from film cameras to digital and moved seamlessly along in a very rapid innovation leap from cellular flip phone to the smart phone, “a computer in your pocket.” I sometimes worry that my kids lack portions of the cultural reference lexicon I inherited from my parents and grandparents; to me it represents a depth and a history, but who knows if that even should matter to them in their changing world. 

This how the Tower of Babel was constructed: People became unmoored from past understandings as they became immersed in newer innovations and technologies. To this day, some ancient technologies continue to persist, farming and writing (albeit, less and less in longhand), among them, as well as cooking, which can be looked on as a rudimentary form of chemistry.

Given a list that includes, licorice root, ginger, peppermint and woodbine, depending on one’s worldview and place in life, one is liable to react to the collection of items differently. The list could be seen as just that, a list of spices and herbs. Two on the list are roots; the others are shrubs. Some might glance at this list and take it for a recipefor a pleasant tea; others might have used these items medicinally, while still others might think they are flavorings for use in cooking, or, at the extreme end of the spectrum, a formula for a potion, or even as tools for magic.

The literature of myth and scripture is made up phrases and formulations that occur and recur. The similarity of Judeo-Christian language formulations with those of contemporaneous Greek literature is not often acknowledged, although there are scholars who have pointed this out. Here is where the Academy can have it’s blind spots; what demarks Greek mythology and history from so-called sacred literature of other traditions, and why should they be siloed away from comparison or examined under different sets of assumptions and standards?

Ritual words, phrases, formulations, images, employed in solitary contemplation or corporate, communal celebration are intended as a multi-dimensional experience. And example of what I mean is encapsulated in a common phrase “thought, word and deed.” Interestingly, though this phrase occurs in Christian prayer books, the complete phrase does not seem to exist, the three terms together, in the biblical canon. The origin of the phrase is actually much older than Greek or Judeo-Christian literature, coming as it does from the earlier Zend Avesta, the primary scripture of the Parsi tradition.

Therefore, O Zarathushtra! …
Make thy own self pure, O righteous man! anyone in the world here below can win purity for his own self, namely, when he cleanses his own self with good thoughts, words,and deeds.

Having good thoughts internally, declaiming those thoughts outwardly in words and embodying, exemplifying the thoughts and words in action, this is what it means to be, to use another familiar ancient term, upright. This could also be thought of as therapy, self-healing, as well as therapeutic outreach to family and greater community. This is the spirit of ubuntu, a modern African humanist philosophy; every individual has a role to play in the health of the community.

I will posit that there is a parallel consideration from the Vedic traditions: yantra (a geometric visualization tool), mantra (a chanted scripture or prayer) and tantra (the embodied practice of what has visualized and vocalized). The yantramantra and tantra are one and the same expression, inextricable, though individuals may respond better to one or another of the expressions.

Another parallel can be observed in the more modern Lucumi tradition, formed during the colonial era throughout the Caribbean region, with its earlier roots in West African Yoruba and other African traditions. Where the consecrated batá drums call the orishas to join and guide the congregation, call and response songs are sung to the sacred rhythms of the drums, and the related dance forms constitute a single, simultaneous flow of spiritual communication. The drums, the song and the dance together are a single, communal sacred expression, the sacred work of the people.

I recently took notice of the sak yant tradition of Thailand. The sak yant are a species of highly complex yantras, arising from what I would call a syncretic relationship between ancient animism and Buddhism. Modern Thai people view these symbols as magic; most do not understand the meanings of these yantras. These yantras make popular tattoos, which are administered by monks trained in the specifics of the mantras that accompany the yantras. This is the image I saw:



When I first saw the image, I understood it to mean energy emanating from the mindful being, which may be partly correct. The image is one version of what is called unalom, and it’s actual meaning is path to/of enlightenment. This yant has it’s own tone and can be expressed in conjunction with many mantras, but your life is the actual tantra.



Unfortunately, esoteric images like these are all too frequently treated solely as “magic”, as good luck charms by those who wear them, rather than the intended use as a meditation tool or an aspect of, to quote philosopher Iris Murdoch, “a moral philosophy” that “should be inhabited” by the individual. We can accept blessings conferred on us, but do we harm ourselves when we (1) don’t understand the meaning of a blessing, (2) don’t follow up the blessing with appropriate action or (3) knowingly ask someone else to act on our behalf, thus avoiding engagement? To quote Murdoch again, “Prayer is properly not a petition,” but these days, it seems almost exclusively thought of in that way. 

The inclination to give an intercessor, priest, monk, magician, shaman or guru that much power has perhaps given rise to every single example of spiritual materialism and idol worship that has ever existed. That superstition exists in the modern world – and is sometimes actively taught to people by an authoritarian few – should give us all pause. We cannot consign to others the maintenance of our moral character. Charms and magic do not make such work go away. This is why the Buddha did not want people to worship him or indeed anyone else.

That said, it is true that everyone has a role to play in the life of others, and that is the “seen and unseen” aspect of living. There are so many of us in the world just for that reason, I believe – so that we can be for others, to help others and support others, as a chain of support network that has no beginning and no end. 

During the Advent season, I enjoy revisiting the Isaiah writings in the Bible. The notion of “uprightness” stands out to me. The texts of Isaiah speak about making the crooked straight, and rough places plain. What does this mean? Does it indicate bulldozing mountains and rolling out a concrete highway for the Divine Majesty? I think not.

Rather, I look on this is a prescription for self- and communal-healing. Just as the unalom symbol illustrates the spiritual journey, each person’s conscious life is an exercise in alignment and/or realignment. How many of you remember being told by a parent, “You’d better straighten up your act”? I believe this is exactly what is intended; we are the crooked places that need to be straightened and smoothed and tidied as we move through all the stages of our life, and only we can do that work. When we “straighten up our act”, we become more mindful, and thereby become more open to the Divine, and hopefully more engaged and connected to what is happening in the world around us. 

The season of Advent has now come to it’s conclusion. We are either ready for what comes next, or not. The shortest day is now concluded, and the Dedication has begun. 

Is your home ready to receive a Holy Guest? Are you upright in thought, word and deed? Is your pathway aligned so the Guest can reach you with fluency and ease, and celebrate fully with you?

In this changing season, may we all move from darkness to light. May we help one another along the narrow roads, tidying and straightening as we go. May our mindfulness and care for one another be the only gift required to make us whole, and may peace visit you and remain with you, now and always.

Amen.

Monday, November 11, 2019

Murmurations



Poetry in aerial motion,
a system poised to tip
and turn in unison,
each member connected
by choice to every other one,
as perceived by one’s
seven nearest neighbors,
seven by seven throughout,
individuals globally correlated,
without a particular leader,
to communicate clearly
and with economy
—at stake, flock survival,
the common good.

This dance above the water,
under the warmth of the sun,
surely offers the clearest portrait
of what democracy looks like.


© 2019 by Elisabeth T. Eliassen

(completed 11:11 on 11/11/19; photo of flocking water birds taken at Elsie Roemer Bird Sanctuary, Alameda, CA on 11/10/19)

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

So, You Bought Yourself A Band, Addendum


"Oh! What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive"

~ Sir Walter Scott


Well, Nemesis said to herself, this is winding up in spectacular fashion!

First, there was one website.

Then, this original website suddenly pointed to a Wikipedia article, and no one could find out about tour dates or order tickets.

And then, suddenly, there were two websites, neither of which were interactive. “Members” on one site were photoshopped in, as the “fired,” “DNA” member was replaced first by one, then another person, thus saving the cost of another photo shoot. Classy! It almost looked as though the third third-wheel had been decapitated.

The newer website had to be called “official,” as to distinguish itself from the original official website, which had morphed into the site of a new production company, that has, most recently, sprouted a copycat TOUR.

Yes, and it was then that the familiar trademark was used to advertise an alternative tour, a west coast tour that ironically includes a gig in Brooklyn, N.Y.

Oh, my! Oh, my!

Did the official ones know about the unofficial “tour”?

Can you say trademark infringement?

But, is that what this is? One signatory against another signatory… Evidently, this can only be unraveled in the courts!

The “Keeping the Music Alive Tour” should probably be renamed.

The “Keeping Our Attorneys Paid Tour” seems just about right…

Sunday, June 30, 2019

Cowrie Dreams



Having had this dream over many nights,
of singing in a church
with a stained glass window
depicting God’s eyes, ears and lips
as cowrie shells,
I confess to cowrie dreams
having haunted my daydreams
and daytime thoughts
about this world of beauty
and of crisis.

Amazing that shells are invested so much
meaning over the epochs
of human existence:
as pawns in the games of children;
as money for trade,
great strands of them roped around
the necks of men striving
over mountains and across deserts;
tools of divination into the divine mystery;
potent symbol of feminine power,
for creation and for renewal.

The cowrie see,
the cowrie hear,
the cowrie speak,
and settled in the fossil record,
they uphold each fragile footstep
and crushing blow to the crust
of an ever growing and complex planet,
while yet soft sea breezes
play through them
on bleached white beaches,
where mothers fish
while keeping watch
over their small children
playing the ancient first games,
manipulating sticks, stones and shells
—where rules are of expedient moment,
and later lost, consigned to memory,
or buried with all that is deemed childish
once ways, means and manners are cultivated.

But still the cowrie see,
the cowrie hear,
the cowrie speak,
the cowrie take it all in
reporting, sorting, retorting
from the depths of silence,
marking, remarking and remaking
from within deep wells possibility
on wings of wind and weather.

What is?
What has been?
What shall be?
What is real?
What is truth?
What is imagination?
What is good and bad?
What do the cowrie see,
the cowrie hear,
the cowrie speak,
if indeed they impart
by way of the shifting winds?

One true day,
these feet found their fragile way
over a patch of fossil record
into a sanctuary lovingly rebuilt
by generations following
its eve of destruction
by hurricane.

There, above an altar
to human resilience,
the very modern clerestory
depicts Omniscient Divine
as having cowrie eyes, ears and lips
—and there I sang, I sang there,
my voice joined with others,
while in concert this descant
sang potently within my soul:
I called to you, and you came,
and here we are, together
.

The song of the watchful cowrie:
In this existence,
nothing is guaranteed,
but even so,
anything is possible,
because no matter where we are,
we are together.




© 2019 by Elisabeth T. Eliassen

//


The dream depicted in this poem is real, and it recurred over a number of months in 2010. In 2013, I traveled to Cuba on a cultural exchange visa with the choral group, Pacific Mozart Ensemble, now known as Pacific Edge Voices, under the direction of Lynne Morrow. One of the places in Havana where we performed was Iglesia de San Francisco de Paula. When we entered the building, it dawned on me (as I moved closer to the altar window) that I had met my dream! Not in the depiction of Jesus, which is so standard, even cheesy, in conforming to a European standard of what Jesus might look like, but in the depiction of the All Seeing Divine, which can just be vaguely discerned in the photo within a bluish bubble above Jesus, at the very top of the window. There was the Divine depicted with cowrie openings, always open both ways. I was to see the metaphor in other art works, while in Cuba, but at that moment, I was astonished that dream had met reality. 



Sunday, June 16, 2019

Classic Order




That photo of me,
shuffling toward you
for the very first time,
says it all:
small being,
newly bipedal,
approaching tall man
emerging from fuzzy background
— and that is how I remember it;
“There he is; go on,” she said,
but my baby eyes
could not see that far ahead.

Sometime later,
you and I stood on the corner
of a very wide avenue,
and little me could only cringe
at the speed of everything flowing by
— fast, so fast, too fast for me —
but when the light changed,
you took me by the hand
and we raced across,
returning to the car lot
before it closed,
because the steed we’d driven off
had failed only blocks away.

It was revived, however,
to become the beloved chariot in which
we rolled over every stretch
of road we could wind along,
from coast to Sierra foothills,
staying at creaking cottage courts
or car camping roadside,
like that time a small dog
tried to catch a mighty river by the tail,
while her human sisters panned for gold
— the golden treasure garnered,
the laughter this triggered in us all.

These are glimpses
of how this child gained vision:
Plans meticulously made
so often veered out of control,
and the lesson always seemed to be
Just Roll With It;
though not always what we expect
(Results May Vary),
rewards can still be reaped,
such as a cozy at-home indoor picnic,
because an unexpected storm
rained out an intended excursion.

Adventures in education,
ever a tilting against windmills
of cultural experimentation;
how could “new math”
compete with “old math”?
Surely there is only onemath;
but while numbers were fated
to be my Achilles heel,
for you they were stock and trade.

Building and design,
weights and measures,
these are living lessons in conformity
and resistance — even revolution;
any angle can be joined,
but will it stand and withstand
the forces of gravity and
unintended use?

Perspective is itself an art,
and everyday proposes a new lesson;
perspective does not always form in
nor heed to the painful symmetries
we are taught to expect,
asked to cultivate.

Any rejected stone
has keystone potential,
viewed with the right eyes
and placed by the right hands,
as masons from Greece,
Europe and Yavapai attest
by way of the monuments
they left behind.

And this is how you taught me,
whether you know it or not,
that symmetry is illusory,
even unnatural;
the human struggle has
always been a vertical challenge
to the gently curving horizon
of a continually growing and quaking earth,
a battle against the natural order;

Similarly, modern science is baffled
in the attempt to unmask
nature as a formulaic perfection,
perhaps because there is
no perfect, simplistic formula,
more an ever growing
agreeable synergy
of complexities.

How many places, things,
people and relationships
have we witnessed that work
in defiance of a stated perfection,
while the captains of industry
fail to produce a toaster that can toast?

Perhaps more to the mark,
nature trains us to cooperate,
revealing the truth that beauty
is uniquely, even willfully, nonconformist,
as can be seen in any garden;
you can nurture and train,
but a garden will go its own way,
and even lowly weeds can flower
with unexpected beauty,
given their moment in the sun.

You’ve lived at the apex
of this age-old human battle
to best nature, and you’ve
tested your fulcrum against
the weight of normative fashion.

I’ve observed that
your preference has been
to lay paths that gently conform
to the soft contour of the natural setting;
there you’ve planted the aloe and reed,
and together we’ve released
butterflies into the wild
— letting go is the magic blessing
that allows beauty to bloom
as it will do.

This lesson in artful living
has not been lost on me,
and these feet of mine
find those paths,
from time to time.

It is in such times and places
where I find a classic order
that allows me to
feel my feet firmly planted
and to see just a little
of what lies ahead.

for Father’s Day
© 2019 BY Elisabeth T. Eliassen

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Influences



Wind, hot and dry,
filled the lanes with dust,
intruding through every crack,
invading every door and window.

Waves of flame,
reaching as from above,
came to stay and oppress every brow,
and we were filled with a divine madness,

Such that suddenly
all different voices were one voice,
all messages one message,
all humanity, each unique, yet one.

This is how all truly is,
verily, verily, unto ages of ages:
We are one family, sharing space and time;
we belong to one another.

How else could God make the case
but to strike us with understanding,
if only in a moment of brevity,
and then charge us with handling the rest?

Such is the mystery of Divine Influence.
Each of us is intended to intervene
to maintain the sanctity of all our lives;
everyone has a role in this heavenly task.

Be fired with your divine purpose!
Of all colors, shapes, the plethora of singsong tongues
proclaims the truth that divine fire exposes:
There is but one people, one life, one purpose.

Ye have been touched, all of ye!
Gather your whits about you,
for each day’s intent is this fire,
this purpose of divine life-giving influence.

Peace be to thee and your neighbors all!
Alleluia, Alleluia, and amen,
and blessings be to ye all
unto the ageless ages.

© 2019 by Elisabeth T. Eliassen

Monday, May 27, 2019

Decoration Day



“Oh, say,”
the song begins,
as cortege follows caisson
to the altar of the vacant chair,
“Can you see?”

The band, impeccably uniformed,
follows, slow of cadence,
to offer last rites
for the flag-draped remains
of those days of yore and gore,
of that cause that is no more.

“What so proudly we hailed,”
at the blood-soaked field of battle,
where vegetation has at last returned,
and the songs of birds redeem all
that has been forgotten of the promises
of life, of freedom and of happiness.

“If a foe from within strike,”
few remember these lines,
“down, Down with the traitor
that dares to defile,”
over cans of beer and burnt flesh,
the memory of bands of brothers
and sisters, lost to time and tide.

“By the millions unchained”
to most blessed eternal silence,
“who our birthright we have gained,”
and then lost whilst a fool bargained
arms to nations, for the waging of more wars,
and dictated malfeasance
on “the home of the brave.”

“Can you see?”
The graves lie deep
beneath their heavy stones
and, even flower-bedecked,
unseasonal rains flow over them as tears,
to mourn the dead and the destitute living,
a reminder of our ultimate failure:
War did not vanquish war.

© 2019 by Elisabeth T. Eliassen

//

In 1861, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., in reaction to civil war engagement, wrote this verse to the “Star-Spangled Banner” – which appeared in songbooks of the era:

“When our land is illumined with Liberty’s smile,
If a foe from within strike a blow at her glory,
Down, down with the traitor that dares to defile
The flag of her stars and the page of her story!
By millions unchained, who our birthright have gained,
We will keep her bright blazon forever unstained!
And the Star-Spangled Banner in triumph shall wave
While the land of the free is the home of the brave.”

Saturday, May 11, 2019

Meanderings on Motherhood



There was that time, long ago,
(but when I picture the photo in my mind,
I can recall it as if it just happened),
Your voice urged, “Go! There’s dad!”
and these feet (much smaller)
carried this body (tiny then) upright,
for the first time in recorded mystory.

Since then, to now, such a stretch
of rolling and running and walking long trails,
working on words,
how they are formed
on the lips and in the mind,
naps and daydreaming,
watching motes of dust
float through the air,
the sacred holding of ladybugs
in small hands and large,
skipping beside you,
my hand in yours,
later walking on my own.

Of the countless adventures:
The tiny kid on the painter’s ladder,
“But I can do it, mom!
I can go all the way to the top!”
I clearly remember saying,
and when I got there, I looked down,
to realize that up and down are
two wholly different skills,
and your fear-of-heights coaxing
“But it’s time for lunch,
I have your favorite, all ready,”
literally willed my safe descent
from the edge of the rooftop.

Only a superhero can do that,
I hope you know.

Cups of sweet, milky coffee,
in the time-honored tiny tea set,
with fresh from the oven cookies,
punctuated long days of discovery;
who knew that spiders, large enough
for Tiffany the standard poodle to bark at,
could emerge from under an old house,
or that summer swim lessons would
require you to wear your winter coat,
while blue and shivering kids paddled,
as you observed from the stands?

Rescues, both small and great:
the bus-missing preschool finger-paint project,
that found me walking wrong-way home;
the playground knee-roll over broken glass,
requiring a taxi ride to Emergency,
where an old man walked through the plate glass door,
as if to continue a theme of shatteredness;
your calm voice calling to me from up the block
while a stranger tried to lure me with a lie,
through his car window.

Further opening windows of consciousness,
the daily theme, from the portholes
of your piercing brown eyes to my own,
everything an exercise in expansion,
from cultivation of flowers
to the care of small creatures,
from the march against war
to the long bus ride to help
in the marina after the bay oil spill,
for we must save the sea birds.

Over time, these portholes on the world
have upgraded themselves from transoms
to casements and skylights, even bays
clear or color-stained like gems,
to picture and double-opening French windows;
Windows on the world within and without,
these aforesaid windows of consciousness,
this is extraordinary vision,
mapped as the starry heavens,
and the young must first be led
on all the well-trodden paths
before they can forge any path on their own.

The painstaking after-school reading lessons,
for this late bloomer, a first opening
to the greater world beyond our time and place,
leading to the sharing of books and music,
endless school art shows and concerts to endure;
How you and every pet in the house
stood the squawks and squeaks
of an inexperienced bow across the strings,
I’ll never know, even though
every pet in the house slept at the epicenter,
and you sat proudly through every concert,
from violin to voice. 

And I know now,
         I now know,
through my open window,
         what it was all for,
what it meant to you,
         what it means to me,
having relived it all,
         in a different time,
and with a different voice.

And I want you to know that,
         though you are far away,
the little hand of your child
         still reaches through open windows
of consciousness and vision,
         finds your warm hand,
ever-curious mind and open heart,
         and feels your mommally hug.

Love,
         Elisabeth



© 2019 BY Elisabeth T. Eliassen
//
Top photo: Mom has given me little kirigami to throw into a bowl of water, where we watched them open into flowers, circa 1962.
Bottom photo: Me with my twins when they were very young, circa 2000

Thursday, April 4, 2019

The Grift is On



I took a break in the middle of my workday to do some much needed grocery shopping. Though cloudy outside, the temperature was pleasant and it was nice just to get out for some air.

I parked at my favorite grocery store and exited my vehicle. 

I was lost in thought – which I have to confess is rather typical. 

A man came up to me. He was shorter than I am, he was smiling and looked slightly bewildered.

“Excuse me, ma’am. I’m not asking for money, I’m just lost. Can you tell me where I am?”

“Well, you are on Broadway in the city of O-----.”

“Could you tell me what part of town this is? I am from South Africa and I don’t know the area.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know what this neighborhood is called,” said I, longing to be helpful, but also trying to extract my grocery list from my pocket. “How did you get here?”

“I took a cab from San Francisco Airport. Look, here is my receipt!” The gentleman said, holding out a handwritten receipt made in the amount of $500.00.

He put his flip-phone into my hand, “Could you speak to my attorney?”

And thus began the grifters’ confidence game. I’ll briefly outline the rest of the encounter. The “attorney” spoke to me, saying that he wanted me, “the mark,” to ask his “client” a few questions because he, the “attorney” was having trouble understanding his “client’s broken English” (a problem I was not experiencing; the “client” spoke clearly and without any accent, and the phone reception was astonishingly clear for the “attorney,” who I can only assume was in a parked car, nearby). The second question is the one that clarified the entire situation for me:

“Can you ask him if he completed his assignment?” 

I posed the peculiar question and the man replied by opening the shoulder bag he carried, revealing what appeared to be a huge wad of cash.

At that point, I spoke into the phone with no particular inflection to my voice, “I am handing the phone back to your client. You can assist him from here on.”

Having handed the phone to the “client,” I made purposely for the door of the grocery store. 

(I may seem distracted, but I didn’t fall off a turnip truck.)

//

This is The Classic Grift, my friends, as depicted in “The Sting” and “Paper Moon” and any number of other films and TV Detective shows; these guys were "confidence men." It is so classic, it even has it's own name; it is called "the Pigeon Drop."

I’m taking the time to tell you about my experience because we are living in remarkably difficult times. People are pushed to desperation; we’re all distracted and extremely busy trying to keep a standard of living, if we can. The UN has reported that the United States has the most inequity of any developed nation; U.S. policies benefit the rich and exacerbate poverty. More than 40 million citizens live in poverty, in this great country of ours. Desperate people might well go along with the type of patter I was treated to today, and give up their precious money as “collateral” or “security” towards a potential for great riches.

But let me just say, the bills you see in the bag are not real; the stacks of bills are just plain paper.

And let me just say, don’t offer to drive any “lost client” anywhere, especially not to the nearest ATM.

And let me just say, don’t get into a car with any “lost client” and his “attorney” or some “cab/Uber/Lyft driver” who might show up on the scene.

And let me just say, there is the possibility of any number of really, really bad scenarios that can spin out from what seems like an innocent encounter with a lost waif in a parking lot. And all of the really, really bad things would happen only to you.

The best thing you can do is speak in an easy, friendly manner, turn and walk away casually, but purposefully, toward the nearest open door. Once inside, report what is happening and/or call the police. Don’t waste time trying to take a photo, just get yourself away.

Of course, by the time you report it, the individuals will have made their escape…

//

Addendum.

This entire silly episode of my life started in the most innocuous fashion. I thought the guy was asking for directions, until it became apparent that the man and his confederate on the flip phone were angling for something else. 

Will this experience stop me from giving directions to people who request them on crowded sidewalks and in busy parking lots because this happened? No, I will not stop doing so.

Why did I write about it? Well, I learned about such scams on a rainy Friday in Junior High School, when the social studies teacher decided to show an old black and white film that talked all about and depicted such scams, followed by a class discussion. I don't know if that film still exists (perhaps social studies teachers have a newer film to show!). 

Can you find out about scams on the internet? Yes. But most people would not take the time to look into it because most people are of the mind that "It couldn't ever happen to me," "I would never fall for that," "I'm too intelligent to be tricked." 

And that, dear friends, is precisely why I wrote about it. We all believe we are so intelligent and so on guard at all times that we could never fall for some scammer's tale. We would never be so gullible.

But even the most vigilant of us are basically trusting individuals, happy to step into the breach to help strangers with minor difficulties. Grifters capitalize on the best part of human nature to gain confidence; this is why they are called "confidence people." Once they have hooked your natural good will, they then dangle a carrot called "greed." 

It is a simple psychological game such people run, and it is unfortunate how successful the game can be. This game does not seem intrusive, not at all, unlike the continual barrage of robocalls from the non-existent "Microsoft Refund Center."

I had my early lesson in critical thinking over 40 years ago, and this incident happened only a few days ago. I'm glad I had the lesson back then, and was able to recall it when a stranger flashed what looked like (but most certainly was not) a bag full of money at me.

I walked away. 


Saturday, March 30, 2019

So You Bought Yourself A Band, Redux

To recap from our last episode:

Nemesis, the cold light of truth, awaits you, in every seat, in every concert hall.

Entertain me. Make me smile.

Nemesis is waiting to see and hear what you will deliver.

//

So, time has passed. 

“Back in the Family,” you said, “where it belongs.” And that’s where you began your bait-and-switch, at venues that had been advertising other performers for nearly a year. You donned the requisite striped shirts and made your move. (We note that stills of the old lineup continue to show up in venue promotions, even today…)

But it was soon evident that cracks were forming.

The ham-fisted, litigious takeover immediately turned off longtime fans that might have continued to be your primary audience. You got into brawls on the internet with people. Lawsuits surely won’t build a new fan base, and trademark licensing doesn’t entitle the licensee to threaten tribute bands covering “your” songs… 

You discovered, to your chagrin, that the summer camp you thought came with your purchase deal was actually owned and operated by someone else. (You didn’t do your homework.) You tried to create a new camp, but no one signed up. Quelle surprise! The fans you’d turned your back on were the very ones who had the means to devote to such pastimes; who did you think you were going to attract? Being that you can’t sing or play all that well means it is extremely doubtful you could teach, so what were you planning to offer? It couldn’t have ever been more than a schmooze-and-booze punctuated by posing and boasting, nothing more than a one-night stand.

Swiftly must have come the realization that one set wasn’t enough for a whole show. You discovered you couldn’t sing some songs in the keys they’d been performed in. Three-part harmonies flat-lined into unison. Instrument tuning was, shall we say, problematical. Lame is the patter, and y’all ain’t got rhythm. Adding songs that had never been part of the repertoire, one can only wonder about that. But not taking requests and leaving out some signature tunes audiences have come to expect actually does have an impact in terms of branding, marketing and sales, or so it has been just generally opined in the pages of both the Wall Street Journal and the Hollywood Reporter.

Nemesis has seen the videos, and she has heard the whispering on the wind. 

Interestingly, somewhere along the line the DNA baby got thrown out with the bath water; lo and behold, the thing isn’t really in the family anymore. At this point, the only legacy member is actually the sideman, a non-member.

Then, a fight broke out over the website. For a while, no one who might have wanted to see shows could find out anything about them. The old URL points to some other group; and while there is a new URL for The Group, no one can find it. The investors must be a bit concerned; if they aren’t, they should be.

Spies have informed Nemesis that phone calls had been made to former members, trying to sound out availability to “fill in” or “replace” well before the apparent coup d'état. Most of these parties politely demurred, as involvement could be construed as legitimizing something or someone. People who did step in struggled to perform with you, as the arrangements had been dumbed-down or put into different keys, and signature licks had been ditched. Ultimately, poaching someone from another group can only make it sound better, so that’s one plus for you... 

Email alerts come in from the four corners; there is abundant ticket availability! People who work the venues report arrogance and mistreatment back stage. Believe me, presenters will think twice, if they haven't already done so. Investors must be a bit concerned; if they aren’t, they should be. When any tribute band can play and sing circles around you, who will pay top dollar to hear less than the very best that can be done, to hear you “learn on the job”? 

And this has entertained Nemesis the most: There has been absolutely no need for her to intervene!

Your reputation precedes you. While you can fool some of the people some of the time, you cannot fool them all. What you can do is fool yourselves, as long as ever you want – at a price.

It is said that revenge is a meal best served cold. The sideboard is laid. The wine is chilled and the glasses are filled. It is all just a matter of time. 

Let us raise the parting glass!

Raspberries, strawberries, let us toast with fine wine:
Here's to the songs that we used to love, dying on your vine.

Addendum: The show at Yoshi's in Oakland CA on 5/15/19 was less than 1/3 sold...