“Music is a proud, temperamental mistress. Give her the time and attention she deserves, and she is yours. Slight her and there will come a day when you call and she will not answer.” ~ Patrick Rothfuss
So, you bought yourself a band.
The “consummate businessman” gamboled himself along the garden
path into a financial hole, and you were there at the fire sale, cash in hand.
What a coup! How cool is that?
Oh, but things haven’t gone so great at the start, though,
have they?
First, there was the pesky little detail of the guys who
were already the band members; you had to get rid of them. But you couldn’t,
like, write them a letter or call them on the phone or speak to them in person
sometime during the three or more years in which you’ve been incubating your plan toward hatching point.
You had to sue people, some of whom
didn’t know anything about the sale of the band, because it was never
announced! So, now you are paying a whole bunch of money for a big wheel
attorney who can pummel and gag everyone into submission. That was an expense
and bother you hadn’t counted on. You made a big splash in the press, though, releasing
the detailed legal suit for everyone to see, attempting to smear everyone.
Ham-fisted. Ugly.
You wish that part were over. You’re just itching to get on
the big stage. You’ve been practicing and practicing. You’ve now memorized one
whole album of the group’s corpus material. You’ve been offering as many gigs
as possible in little coffee houses and restaurants and the like, smoothing
your stage patter. Your sychoph – er, pals have been telling you how great it
all is, how ready you are!
Hmm. One album’s worth of songs is, like, one set. One. Set.
Then, there is this
little problem: At those venues that are already booked, they are waiting for
those other guys to show up. The publicity is already out; it’s been out for
months. In many cases, tickets have already been sold for some of those events.
I guess your premise is that it doesn’t really matter who shows up to load in,
as long as there are the requisite number of guys on stage doing the songs.
When were you going to tell the presenters to expect you, instead of the other
guys? Didn’t think about that as being your obligation, did you? You thought
your “business partner” was supposed to do that? It’s you, now, man; it’s you!
You wanted it, you got it! I mean, if you want your “partner” to do that stuff,
you might have to whip out that attorney again.
I guess you’ll now start thinking twice about your business
“partner” and how you do business together as time goes on; there’s a good idea.
You’ve got a computer. You’ve got a phone. You’ve had a
bunch of time. It’s not just about playing the instruments and singing to
audiences. The way you’ve “played” your hand thus far means you’re going to
have to deal with a website and bookings and presenters, airline tickets,
hotel room bookings and rental cars. Or, conversely, you might have to hire a competent
staff person to do that for you, if you are too busy; another expense. But
these are business decisions, right? You own those, now, too, I guess. Don’t
you? (Did your contract talk about that?
Did it stipulate who was responsible for these things? Did an attorney ever
look at the rag before you signed it?)
Symphony gigs. I guess there will never be another one of
those. I mean, you don’t know anything about a symphony, do you? Never worked
with a conductor, I’m thinking. And I’m guessing you don’t have the
arrangements. First off, there is something called a “cue” that is not associated with the
word “pool.”
Summer clinic. Gone. You’re into jamming and schmoozing and
having fun, but you can’t teach and you can’t coach. That’s not what you’re
interested in, anyway. You want to market and promote yourself, and sing on the
big stage. Those old fans simply aren’t as important as the new ones you’re
planning to pursue. (I wonder if you did
a market study?)
Got rhythm? Not so
much? Maybe lose the drum, then. Or hire a drummer. Oh, but that doesn’t fit
the tradition, does it? Cuts into the bottom line, as well.
Technê (craft)
and epistêmê ( knowledge). Epistasthai (knowing how) and
gnôsis (understanding). Émpeiros (experienced; practiced) and artios
(ready because prepared). These are old Greek words about art and artistry; do you see yourself in any
of them, or is it just Greek to you?
You can buy the
band, but you can’t wear it like a suit. You don’t put on a shirt and magically
become the fantastic musician with the hot guitar licks and the honeyed voice.
Your money can’t endow you with
talent the likes of the people you’ve supplanted, in order to fulfill your fantasy.
But, get this, talent is what the
audiences in the big halls expect! That’s what they pay for! Can you deliver
that? (Will a letter from your “partner”
to the venues, saying you’re “great guys,” make it so?)
This business is
bigger than you are – way, way bigger than you realize. All by yourself, you opened Pandora’s box, and you sent the word out there. The
industry feeds on gossip, and you gave out a whole lot of innuendo for people
to chew on. Your stunt with the media puts you in as much questionable light as
the people you tried to smear, the very people you did out of decent jobs. You
can gag some of the people, but not all of them. You’ve already disappointed
and disgusted longtime fans with your actions. You can create a back-story, but
what will people believe? (You never made
a press release, introducing all these changes to the world. What were you
thinking? What were you waiting for? What were you trying to hide?)
I wonder if others
in the business will want to work with you, share a stage with you, stand next
to you, after the stunt you pulled. They’ve earned
their fame; you’ve merely “purchased the rights” to it. Don’t look to DNA for
rights to respect; any actor’s kid knows you have to show four times the talent to get anyone to even look at you.
Okay. So, now that
you “own” it, the big question is “Can you deliver?” And, boy, oh, boy, you’re
going to have to answer that one sooner than you think. Are you ready to ride the
rollercoaster of your own making? Whee!!!!
A lot of people, these days, speak of karma. “Karma’s a
bitch,” they say.
Oh, but karma’s got nothing on Nemesis. Do you remember who Nemesis is? She is the Greek Goddess
equalizer, the righter of wrongs; she is an aspect of Justice. She addresses the
hubris of small humans and big gods in the most appropriate manner, by revealing the truth of what they are.
Nemesis, the cold
light of truth, awaits you, in every seat, in every concert hall.
Entertain me. Make me
smile.
Nemesis is waiting to see and hear what you will deliver.
© 2017
