Civil Discourse 101

Discourse is a form of communication, more commonly referred to as discussion or debate. These days, we seem to be really bad at it. Instead of exchanging ideas, we seem to be talking past each other.

Yelling. We hear a lot of it—as if loudness is required, in order to get the point across. The folks that are yelling seem really intent on being heard, but when their turn to listen comes along, the faculty of hearing seems missing. So, many exchanges are not exchanges at all, but shouting matches where the one with the highest decibel level wins. Yelling at and past one another, but neither side being heard.

Lost, in the yelling and escalating anger, are the issues, not to mention possible solutions.

Fifty years ago (nine months before I was born) on this date in 1961, John F. Kennedy gave his inauguration speech, of which I excerpt the following passages:

So let us begin anew -- remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us. Let both sides, for the first time, formulate serious and precise proposals…

Let both sides unite to heed, in all corners of the earth, the command of Isaiah -- to "undo the heavy burdens, and [to] let the oppressed go free."¹



And, if a beachhead of cooperation may push back the jungle of suspicion, let both sides join in creating a new endeavor -- not a new balance of power, but a new world of law -- where the strong are just, and the weak secure, and the peace preserved.



All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days; nor in the life of this Administration; nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.

Those words are as timely and fresh, today, as they were when they were first spoken. There is a lot more in that speech that makes it seem dated; the Cold War and balance of power in the world is clearly at issue. But if we focus on the bits that I have printed here, we should see that we have a lot of work to do; we have not passed "Go" with very much of Kennedy's list of goals.

A lot has happened in fifty years, but not the realization of that bright and shining dream. And in that time we have belabored much the issues that divide us, without ever realizing the great promise of justice, security and peace.

I ask you to remember the promise, and to renew it in your heart.

I ask us all to begin anew, to relearn civility, to renew our commitment to the dream, renew our efforts in civil dialogue, that we may finally, and as a united front, discover the path of action that will make the dream a reality.


//


Kennedy, John F. Inaugural Speech, 1961. http://www.bartleby.com/124/pres56.html

Report Card On Democracy: The Three Ds

Here we are, on the eve of Elections. Tomorrow, we will be asked to do our civic duty, in an informed manner, by casting our votes.

But how do we, as voters, rate?

I have a list of three Ds important to Democracy. These are arbitrary, I realize; there could be others. Maybe you have your own list.

Discourse. Have politicians been engaged in honest dialogue with constituents? Have they clearly stated what their policies would be? Have we citizens engaged in true dialogue amongst ourselves? What I have read, heard, seen has been pretty rotten, even at the local level. Unseen Big Money engaged in mudslinging with expensive mailers. Candidates that harp at one another at so-called debates. Citizens, taking the lead of what they see politicians doing, talking at each other, not to one another. No one is listening. The world is painted as black or white, right or wrong, either/or, one way or the other. "If you are not for me, you are against me!" Even when that means you have to ride two horses. While we are all so busy enjoying the circus antics of those running for office (sometimes I wish there was something really entertaining to see or hear), what kind of deals are being made in government back offices?

Discretion. Have we been discrete in our dealings and discourse? In this age of the internet and the cellular phone, people seem now to be accustomed to airing their dirty laundry, and that of others, for all to see and hear. And then they want their privacy protected. When people give away their own privacy with such little disregard, they then feel entitled to take on the role of victim. When Shakespeare had Falstaff say, in Henry IV, Part 1, "The better part of valour is discretion", he follows it up with the phrase "in the which better part I have saved my life." How often do we speak without thinking? Without realizing that we are surrounded by ears that are hearing us? It has become all too commonplace for our thoughtless thoughts to become public.

Dignity. When we fail in maintaining Discourse with Discretion, we fail ourselves and others in preserving Dignity for all.

Failing Democracy is unthinkable. But I ask you to think on it, as you prepare to go to the polls tomorrow to cast your vote.

Do vote, please. I hope that you have done your homework well. I hope that you have read and listened beyond all the indiscretions and petty bickering to find the heart of the issues at stake.

My own ballot was cast weeks ago and mailed in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Choice

Lemming Leaders slouch along,

treading all their roads to nowhere,
paved, as they are,
with public monies and
sentiments misplaced
in the power to choose.

But, who
shall stand
when
I AM REAL
appears?

Lemming Leaders shall continue,
slouching along,
as they always have,
skimming the system,
and plying pretty words
by which to play
us all for suckers.

Others, seeing
the truth about our choices
and sensing another, better way,
will find the place of no road,
and from there make a start
at a different kind of journey.

© 2010 by Elisabeth T. Eliassen

Is Texting Mightier Than The Sword?

“What is so cool is that we are all connected!” I heard this effusive comment in the grocery store, spoken by a man to the display of melons. Of couse, when he turned, I realized he had a phone dangling from his ear.

I confess to have been annoyed by this; I wanted to ask, “connected to what?” Sometimes, it seems to me that what we are truly connected with is our technological toys. I also sometimes think that our technology takes us for a walk, and not the other way around.

When my family was driving home from some event, recently, we were stopped at an intersection. My husband, who was driving, was about to make a right-hand turn when, from out of nowhere, a man on a bicycle shot off the sidewalk in front of the car, texting, while riding his bicycle. Texting! It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. Both of the man's hands were on the handlebars, somehow balancing his phone, open to it’s qwerty pad, and his thumbs were furiously flying.

My husband slammed on the brakes, and the guy on the bicycle responded by falling off of his bike in the crosswalk in front of us, dropping the phone.

Without looking to the right or the left, the fellow got up, scooped up the phone and picked up the bike, remounted it, and rode on, continuing to text. We had saved him from being road kill, and he didn’t even look our way.

This sounds like a classic entry for the annual Darwin Awards. And I ask, what was that all for? I would hazard the guess that it was not for some pithy discourse.

Because our technology allows us to, we blather. On and on we blather, whether it is by voice or by thumb, on and on we digitally promote the sound of our voice. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but I don’t call this conversation. Most of the single-side of conversations I hear are not noteworthy. Many are people yelling at each other, pretending that there is no audience to their drama. A woman actually snapped at me, on day in the grocery checkout line, “mind your own business” when I turned, startled at being barked at from behind. Groups of people walk in packs together, but are they talking to each other? No. Texting or tweeting others with cutesy one-liners about what they are doing right now. Couples in internet cafés, both parties with laptops open, not speaking to one another.

What I observe is that people, in their desire to be connected, are dividing themselves from a consciousness of what is going on around them. 

The loudness of all the blather is deafening.

The silence, in the absence of substantial real time discourse, is equally disquieting.